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Cover of Amoeba Dick

Novel

Amoeba Dick

A New Tale of a Tub

In this the inaugural volume of Richard Craven’s Bristolian Chronicles, disreputable Bristolian gym manager Herod swears vengeance against the microbe colony infesting the spa hot tub and blamed for the genital gangrene which has unmanned him.

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Published
4 October 2024
ISBN
979-8283793023
Chapters
40
In the book
211 entries

Overview

WELCOME TO RICHARD CRAVEN'S BRISTOL A TWISTED, SATIRICAL LANDSCAPE WHERE CHAOTIC MISADVENTURE IS MET WITH WIT, VENGEANCE, AND A TOUCH OF THE GROTESQUE.

In the pursuit of his vendetta, he recruits a gallery of corporate psychopaths, spiritual charlatans and raving homoeopaths. As a signifier of his quest he sports an outsize marital aid, the White Willy.

A darkly humorous, unflinching and characteristically Bristolian satire of societal degeneracy, Amoeba Dick recalls everything between Greek tragedy, Jacobean grand guignol and the Victorian novel, and promises to resurrect classical literary fiction for a contemporary audience.

Reviewed in

Cover of Obscura Literaria Obscura Literaria Review by Euphemia Vexwell Craven’s Bristol is a city twisted beyond recognition—a morass of grotesque physicality, where the gym culture, in particular, is subjected to a savagely satirical dissection. Read the review →

People in this book

See all 77 in People with their descriptions

Places in this book

See all 42 in Places with their descriptions

Organisations in this book

See all 5 in Organisations with their descriptions

Artefacts in this book

See all 17 in Artefacts with their descriptions

Glossary in this book

See all 65 in Glossary with their descriptions

Chapters

  1. Front matter
  2. The Manuscript in Mr Vagus’s Loo
  3. The Well of Loneliness
  4. Aliter Assecurationem Subnervat
  5. Organisational Atrophy, Rude Mechanicals, and Rumour Painted Full of Tongues
  6. The descent from High Kingsdown into the Vale of Hinnom.
  7. The Fisher King Cycle, Except With Some Ghastly Little Gigolo or Catamite
  8. Cassandra, the Prophetess
  9. A Piece of Cod, Which Passeth All Understanding
  10. The Revolt by the Jews Against the Depredations of the Procurator Florus
  11. The Several Agues of Charybdis
  12. Roman Roulette, and Showers of the Ilk
  13. There are Tiers of Administration, and the Burdens of Mortality Touch the Heart
  14. The Old Albion & Bristol Sikhs Gimp, in the Shed, Vaporizing
  15. Pheidippides in the Mezzanine, the Mystery of the Phantom Crapper, and Charybdis Burping Out a Sort of Gimp
  16. Concerning the Use of Dildos in Venery
  17. The Integration of Farokh the Engineer, and a Further Procedure Involving Napalm
  18. The Depredations Against the Christians by Diocletian and Galierianus.
  19. Either the Boner’s Palsy, or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
  20. Ecdysis: the Slough of Dives.
  21. Iphigenia at Aulis, Sedated with Methohexital or Possibly Sodium Thiopental.
  22. The Parsee Comes to Know the Power of the Dark Cider.
  23. A Writ With Regard to the Boner’s Palsy, Then Some Enemas.
  24. Certain Prognoses Regarding the Identity of the Phantom Crapper
  25. Jupiter Spends a Penny; Little Mention of Danaë
  26. River Runs, Past Wanksy, Quicksotte and Lord Snatch
  27. Alarmingly Frank Yoga, Followed by a Spot of Lunch
  28. The Apprehension and Execution of the Dostoyevskian Twat St Just During the Thermidorian Reaction.
  29. A Measure of Wheate for a Penie, and Three Measures of Barley for a Penie, and See Thou Hurt not the Oyle and the Wine.
  30. The Witchcraft Perpetrated Against the Despencers by John of Nottingham
  31. Kylie the Southmead Jezebel, Executing a Rare Tug, Cursed by Elijah
  32. Am Ararat nach der Sintflut
  33. The Smyler with the Knyf Under the Cloke
  34. Rustbelt in Urbe.
  35. The Final Testament of Mr Marshall Petoman
  36. I Am Not Spartacus
  37. And I Only am Escaped Alone to Tell Thee.
  38. Appendix 1. Mezzanine/Penthouse Prize Allocations
  39. Appendix 2. Glossary of Terminology
  40. Appendix 3. Bibliography

Extracts

Two chapters that can be read on their own.

Chapter 11 · about 9 minutes

The Several Agues of Charybdis

One day in 1948, the inventor Candido Jacuzzi appropriated one of the hydraulic pumps manufactured by the family firm at their factory in Chino, California. Candido took the pump home and fitted it to the family bathtub, hoping…

Read the extract

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