Of a sudden, on the drawbridge there materialised a sort of Gestapo sprite. A tiny little chap, belted black leather-effect trench coat, chalkstripe suit, sandy hair plastered wetly under a greasy grey Homburg, small circular-lensed spectacles, off which reflected the artificial light emanating splenetically from the various illuminations cast by Pex ‘n’ Quads, obscuring the fellow’s eyes, and eke his soul, such as it might have been. A hand gloved in black leather-effect polymer grasped a brown leather-effect polymer concertina attaché-case. Within Reception, Herod stood, cup of tea in hand, bearded mandibles muffled in his overcoat, staring moodily out through the sheet glass at the stalled traffic. The little man espied him, barged glass door, bounded in. His free hand, likewise gloved in that same black polymer leather-effect, rummaged in the polymer leather-effect brown case, a bundle of official-looking documents being then produced, flourished, and pressed into Herod’s unwitting grasp, whereupon the little man swivelled upon his heels, and vanished as promptly as he’d come. —
Herod
- Oho, I said, no need to remind me who it is. It is 39, is it not, which must be that stool obsessive Illingworth. I’ve so been looking forward to his date with destiny! —
Mr Illingworth
A large crowd was in there, albeit somewhat diminished by the previous depredations wrought upon the ranks of the Spartacists by the mezzanine/penthouse prize regime, for there was much eagerness to witness the apotheosis of Illingworth, or Illingworth the colonist as he had come to be known. Not to put too fine a point on the matter, Illingworth was an enema fanatic. I am given to understand [Luce-Foucault 2009 p12,932] that this miscreant had enjoyed a cosmopolitan upbringing, from which he derived a pronounced Francophilia, in particular with regard to the renowned klismatic propensities of the Gauls or Franks [ibid. throughout]. To this purpose, Illingworth had developed a career, which encompassed medical equipment manufacture and marketing – in which connection it is not unreasonable to suppose that he was the purveyor of the tubing and syringes to be found in Mr Luvvertory’s ambulance [q.v. ch3 fn] – and also specious New-Age websites promoting enema-based detox and spirituality retreats organised by his several wafty diaphanously clothed handmaidens, as well as the promotion of his products and theories in the British Journal of Clisters, which was owned by a company which he controlled, albeit via nominee services provided by Colloid Sphincter & Nematode GmbH. —
Klýsma
- As I was saying, before that rather, I may say, pointed intervention, today by whatever intersection of ineluctable determination and serendipity, it falls to Colloid here to do the nasty on this Illingworth the colonist. Furthermore, in view of the vocation which Mr Illingworth has famously made his own, I have sourced from a certain antiquarian gentleman one of the old rogue’s very own enema syringes, with a view to having Colloid, as the Angel of Death in the case, administer the coup de grâce by the very method of Mr Illingworth’s own devising. Mr Illingworth was seen to give a little start upon hearing this announcement, much as though hands unseen had at that very moment pricked hys ers wyth klyster mowste unnebecommynglye bigge. —
Enema syringe
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