Glossary

26 terms

• Tachycardia (n.) /ˌtæk.ɪˈkɑː.di.ə/

  Accelerated heartbeat.

• Talcum of Medellin (n. phrase) /ˈtælkəm əv ˈmɛdəˌliːn/

  Cocaine hydrochloride, a stimulant.

• Tantrical and quaintly lewd /ˈtæn.trɪ.kəl ənd ˈkweɪnt.li ˈluːd/

  Chlamydia's compact description of Sleaze's field of expertise. A doctrine broad enough to contain tantra, commerce and whatever happens behind the nunnery door.

• Tantric Fiddling (n. phrase) /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈfɪd.lɪŋ/

  Euphemism for business practices and preferred foreplay of 'therapists' eg Sleaze, Mr Luvvertory and Mince. Claims to open chakras; in practice, clogs plumbing. Typically performed beside a gimp.

• Tantric jizz /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈdʒɪz/

  The vulgar residue of Sleaze's spiritual sales pitch. Tantra translated into the idiom in which his neighbours understand it.

• tantric nunnery /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈnʌn.ər.i/

  Sleaze's name for an establishment devoted to the soothing of tired businessmen. Nunnery in the Shakespearean rather than Benedictine tradition.

• Tantric paradise /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈpær.ə.daɪs/

  Sheherezade's ironic destination under Sleaze's guidance. Paradise possesses a bower of eternal darkness and an unusually practical revenge itinerary.

• tantric soothing /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈsuː.ðɪŋ/

  Sleaze's euphemism for the services provided to tired businessmen. Spiritual vocabulary applied where an invoice would be more informative.

• Tartarus /ˈtɑː(r)tərəs/

  Classical abyss of punishment, invoked when the ordinary Bristol torture repertoire seems insufficiently mythological.

• Teleo-functional /ˌtel.i.əʊˈfʌŋk.ʃən.əl/

  Of or pertaining to purpose and function. Useful when a Rampant Rabbit refuses to look sufficiently like a penis.

• Teufelsdröckhish /ˈtɔɪ.fəlz.drɒk.ɪʃ/

  In the wandering, philosophically bedraggled manner of Professor Teufelsdröckh. Applied to Hieronymus abroad in Bristol.

• The Bibulous Oath (n. phrase) /ˈbɪb.jʊ.ləs əʊθ/

  Sworn in wine, broken in cider. Binding only until the onset of vomiting. Frequently invoked by the dramatis personae.

• The Cause (n. phrase) /ðə kɔːz/

  An abstraction invoked by St Just to justify revolutionary rhetoric, retail theft, and polyphonic rutting. Contributions to the Cause are expected in the form of fentanyl, ejaculate, or ideology.

• Therapeutic treatment centre (n. phrase) /ˌθɛr.əˈpjuː.tɪk ˈtriːt.mənt ˈsɛn.tər/

  Bordello.

• The Senseless Counterfeit (n.) /ˈkaʊn.tə.fɪt/

  The eponymous marital aid. A fake within a fake. Might refer to the text, the self, or the entire performance of postmodern identity.

• The wooden Goad of Aristophanes /ðə ˈwʊd.ən ˈɡəʊd əv ˌær.ɪˈstɒf.ə.niːz/

  Beer-pump handle of elevated classical nomenclature. Pull toward breast; brown jet ensues.

• Toilet trading (n. phrase) /ˈtɔɪ.lɪt ˈtreɪ.dɪŋ/

  Lavatorial variant of dogging [q.v.], predominantly a pastime of Abba fans.

  • q.v.

• Tolstoyan /tɒlˈstɔɪ.ən/

  Russian-sage chic: beard, sanctity, disreputability and the vague possibility of having wandered out of a very bad icon.

• Triangulation /tɹaɪˌæŋɡjʊˈleɪʃən/

  Mark Wankstain’s preferred political geometry. Position oneself between incompatible things until the triangle collapses.

• tricorn hat /ˈtraɪ.kɔːn ˈhæt/

  Lord-Mayoral headgear. Civic authority reduced to three corners and worn by whichever bird presently occupies the perch.

• Tricoteuse (n.) /ˈtrɪk.ə.təz/

  Knitting woman [French]. Female voyeur at an execution.

  • French

• Trinity (n.) /ˈtrɪnɪti/

  Police station since demolished, just behind Old Market.

• Triste dictu (n. phrase) /trɪste dɪktu/

  Sad to relate [Latin].

  • Latin

• Trotskers (n.) /ˈtrɒtskərz/

  Trotskyites [vernacular]. Proponents, originating with the Left Opposition and the Fourth International, of decentralised economic planning, voluntary collectivisation, artistic autonomy, and permanent revolution; in which respects Trotskyism is contrasted with the dirigisme and socialism-in-one-country policies of the Stalinists.

  • vernacular

• Trottoir (n.) /ˌtroʊˈtwɑr/

  Pavement [French].

  • French

• Twink (n.) /twɪŋk/

  Catamite; Ganymede; the barely legal complement of a bear.