Glossary

36 terms

• Pammerin’ (adj.) /ˈpæmərɪn/

  Shabbily dressed, staggering [Scots/Doric].

  • Scots

• Patriarchy /ˈpeɪ̯tɹɪɑːkɪ/

  System by which men are held collectively responsible for everything objectionable. Useful both analytically and for shouting.

• Peely-Wallyism (noun) /ˈpiːli ˈwæli.ɪzəm/

  The condition of being perennially insipid, pallid, or emotionally incontinent, especially in artistic expression. [Scots/Vernacular].

  • Scots

• Penthouse membership /ˈpent.haʊs ˈmem.bə.ʃɪp/

  Premium gym salvation. Full access to the facilities, including those most likely to kill you.

• Perfidious Tremblement (n. phrase) /pəˈfɪd.i.əs ˈtrɛm.blə.mɒ̃/

  Euphemism for cowardly orgasm or belated moral panic. Often experienced mid-soliloquy by minor characters.

• Perrokit /ˈper.ə.kɪt/

  Parrot, or specifically Hawksmoor Perroquet, viewed through vernacular phonetics.

• Perspira /pəˈspaɪ.rə/

  Minor goddess of sweat, invoked whenever Jason yobspray loses the theological argument with the human armpit.

• Pewlies (n.) /ˈpjuːliz/

  Seagulls [Scots/Doric].

  • Scots

• pewlies’ eggs /ˈpjuː.liz ˈeɡz/

  Seagulls’ eggs [Scots/Doric hybrid]. Gourmet aspiration of Ian Corby.

• Pharmacy (n.) /ˈfɑː.mə.si/

  Premises specialising in the retail of substances prohibited under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971.

• Pikey (n.) /ˈpaɪ.ki/

  Gypsy. Pejorative.

• Pikeys /ˈpaɪ.kiz/

  Pejorative term for Travellers or other people imagined as such. Used by the narrative as part of its deliberately coarse social lexicon.

• Pimms /pɪmz/

  Fruit-cup lubricant of Sir Ezra and Sir Hearty. Imperial summer cordial for men arranging tax and democracy.

• Pompinaro (n.) /ˌpɒm.pɪˈnɑː.roʊ/

  Cocksucker [Italian].

  • Italian

• Poncemaking /ˈpɒns.meɪ.kɪŋ/

  Dr Mark Wankstain’s professional science of making places, presentations and civic nonsense look strategic.

• Pont des soupirs (n. phrase) /pɒnt deɪ suːˈpiərz/

  Bridge of sighs [French].

  • French

• Porca Madonna (n. phrase) /ˈpɔːr.kə məˈdɒn.nə/

  Pig Madonna. Obscene Italian epithet.

• Porch of Shame (n. phrase) /pɔːtʃ əv ʃeɪm/

  Architectural feature used for moral exposition and dramatic ejection. Commonly found outside …er… squat theatres and within third acts.

• Porlock (n. prop.) /ˈpɔː.lɒk/

  Referential figuration of the interruption of poetic vision. The narrator likens his desecration of a Travelodge in Leigh Delamere to Coleridge’s dream-ruining visitor. Foam unto foam.

• poshtitute /ˈpɒʃ.tɪ.tjuːt/

  Prostitute serving the affluent classes. Lady Snatch qualifies only approximately, marriage having complicated the taxonomy.

• Poshtitution /ˌpɒʃ.tɪˈtjuː.ʃən/

  Prostitution with better vowels. Practised by persons for whom class remains important even when trousers do not.

• Post hoc ergo propter hoc (n. phrase) /ˌpəʊst ˈhɒk ˈɜː.ɡəʊ ˈprɒp.tər ˈhɒk/

  After this therefore because of this [Latin]. Informal logical fallacy inferring causation from correlation.

  • Latin

• Priapic Epiphany (noun) /praɪˈæpɪk ɪˈpɪfəni/

  A sudden and usually unearned insight accompanied by or resulting in unwarranted sexual confidence.

• probate /ˈpɹəʊbeɪt/

  The legal machinery by which Slime's inheritance removes him from his squat and, later, by which his associates discuss the redistribution of his cannabis.

• Profanum vulgus /proˈfaː.nʊm ˈwʊl.ɡʊs/

  The common crowd [Latin], summoned whenever the surrounding multitude needs the dignity of Horace before being dismissed again.

• Prostaglandin /pɹɒstəˈɡlændɪn/

  Biochemical agent invoked by Amelia De’Ath in the practical matter of hurrying along little bubbas.

• Protist (n.) /ˈprəʊ.tɪst/

  Eukaryotic organism that is not an animal, land plant or fungus.

• Pseudomonas aeruginosa /ˌsjuː.dəˈməʊ.nəs ˌeə.ruː.dʒɪˈnəʊ.sə/

  Common hot-tub bacterium and dermatological nuisance. In the present contest, merely the undercard to Aeromonas.

• Pseudomonas folliculitis /ˌsjuː.dəˈməʊ.nəs fəˌlɪk.jʊˈlaɪ.tɪs/

  Hot-tub rash caused by Pseudomonas. The comparatively genteel end of the communal-spa disease spectrum.

• psittaciform /sɪˈtæs.ɪ.fɔːm/

  Of the order Psittaciformes: parrots and their kin. Hawksmoor’s zoological condition beneath the civic regalia.

• Psittacine Lacuna (noun) /ˈsɪtəsaɪn ləˈkjuːnə/

  A gap or omission in parrot-related history, discourse, or memory; a species of avian forgetfulness.

• Psittacus Erithacus /ˈsɪt.ə.kəs ɪˈrɪθ.ə.kəs/

  African Grey Parrot [taxonomic Latin, now Psittacus erithacus]. Species designation of Hawksmoor Perroquet.

• Psorietist /ˈsɔː.ri.ə.tɪst/

  Adherent or specimen of the Psorietes tendency. Flaky in more than the ideological sense.

• ‘Pster /ˈpstə/

  Remote tribe for whom organic sundries and artisanal fripperies are indispensable. Hipsterism with the first syllable gentrified away.

• Psychopathic chefs /ˌsaɪ.kəˈpæθ.ɪk ˈʃefs/

  Fukboi's school of applied cuisine, represented by cheese grater, blow-torch and pliers. The ingredients are Slime.

• Pyromaniacs /ˌpaɪ.rəʊˈmeɪ.ni.æks/

  Persons paired, for botanical purposes, with rue in Fadya's catalogue of grief. Their exact horticultural entitlement remains unexplained.