Glossary – Richard Craven

ABBA fan (n.) /ˈæb.ə fæn/

A gentleman with a preference for the society of other gentlemen. Abba fans congregate for this purpose in gites.

Ablative Gentrification (noun) /ˈæblətɪv ˌdʒɛntrɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/

The replacement of culture with property value, accompanied by the erasure of memory.

Aeromonads /ˌeə.rəˈməʊ.næds/

Aquatic bacteria of variable disposition. Harmless enough until the health club gives them a management structure.

Aeromonad scourge of the flesh /ˌeə.rəˈməʊ.næd ˈskɜːdʒ əv ðə ˈfleʃ/

Aeromonas infection in its grand-guignol phase. Flesh departs, management continues.

Aeromonas hydrophila /ˌeə.rəˈməʊ.nəs haɪˈdrɒf.ɪ.lə/

The worm in the pipes. Water-borne bacillus, destroyer of Herod's privy parts and eventual victor over Pex 'n' Quads.

A fortiori (n.) /ɑː fɔː.tiˈɔːr.i/

Literally “from the stronger” [Latin]. The relation of inference obtaining between two sets of propositions A and B where A deductively implies B.

Latin

Agnibite of inwit /ˈæɡ.nɪ.baɪt əv ˈɪn.wɪt/

Remorse; the inward bite of conscience. Ian Corby suffers a late and unfashionable attack.

aleiptae /əˈlaɪp.tiː/

Anointers or trainers [Greek]. People attempting to improve St Just by rubbing, discipline or other civilising procedures.

Aliter assecurationem subnervat (n. phrase) /əˈlaɪ.tər əˈsɛk.jʊ.rəˌtɪˈoʊ.nɛm ˌsʌbˈnɜr.væt/

Herod's opaque Latinism for a rule or manoeuvre that somehow undermines assurance. The uncertainty is part of the joke; the establishment proceeds regardless.

Latin

Allgemeineszeitungstahlergänzung (n.) /ˌalɡəˈmaɪnəsˈtsaɪtʊŋstɑːlərˈɛɡzʊŋ/

German language steel trade bulletin.

Ambrosia /æmˈbɹoʊʒə/

The recreational sacrament consumed aboard Phaeacia. Bestows cosiness, warmth and that soothing moral insouciance by which a hobby distinguishes itself from a habit.

Anarchist Bible /ˈæn.ə.kɪst ˈbaɪ.bəl/

Scripture sought by Hawksmoor among the radical stalls. Canonical authority for people professionally opposed to canonical authority.

Anarchists /ˈæn.ə.kɪsts/

Persons committed to the abolition of hierarchy, except where book-fair tables, clubs and committees make it temporarily useful.

Aporia (n.) /əˈpɔː.ri.ə/

Intellectual befuddlement generated by paradox. [Greek]

Greek

Argive (n.) /ˈɑː.dʒaɪv/

Greek, via metonymous etymological derivation from the Achaean city of Argos.

Armaround (n.) /ˈɑːrməˌraʊnd/

Manual relief performed by a top on a bottom during congress.

Ars sapientiaque viarum (n. phrase) /ɑrs sapˈiːɛn.tiˌækwe viˈaːrum/

The art and wisdom of the streets [Latin].

Latin

Ars scatologica (n. phrase) /ɑrs ˌskætəˈlɒdʒɪkə/

The scatological art, i.e. graffiti or tagging [Latin].

Latin

Aryan Maoist /ˈeə.ri.ən ˈmaʊ.ɪst/

Sir Gerald Inhali’s discarded ideological compound: racial romanticism with a Cultural Revolution attached. A youthful enthusiasm subsequently filed under embarrassment.

ASBO /ˈæzbəʊ/

Anti-Social Behaviour Order. In Withywood, imagined as the puissant administrative charm by which ratboys may be made to vanish.

Bacchae /ˈbæk.iː/

Dionysiac avengers invoked as the classical analogue of the approaching vigilante mob. Euripides, with gimpsuits.

Banlieu (n.) /bɑːnˈljuː/

Suburb, with connotations of the slums. [French: ‘banlieue’].

French

Baroque prose /bəˈrɒk ˈprəʊz/

Elaborate, overfurnished prose in which clauses, references and ornaments accumulate until syntax itself appears upholstered.

Batiment (n.) /ˌbætɪˈmɑ̃/

Building [French].

French

Bear (n.) /bɛər/

Hirsute middle-aged or elderly pederast.

Beard (n.) /bɪərd/

A lady married to an Abba fan who chooses not to be forthcoming about his proclivities.

Beesom cushie (n.) /ˈbiːsəm ˈkʊʃi/

Female pigeon [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Bildungsroman (n.) /ˈbɪl.dʊŋs.roʊˌmɑːn/

Literary genre focussing on the protagonist’s moral development from childhood to maturity [German].

German

Biodynamic Trustafarian (n.) /ˌbaɪ.oʊ.daɪˈnæmɪk ˈsɪkəfænt/

A New Age adjunct to the Cause. Combines trustafarian aesthetics with boutique addiction. Tends to speak highly of Guatemalan shamans and Steiner schooling.

Blart (n.) /blɑːt/

Spend. Colloquial, with the implication of excess.

Blood & Soil Association /ˈblʌd ən ˈsɔɪl əˌsəʊ.siˈeɪ.ʃən/

Aristocratic postfascist fellowship. Sir Gerald presides over the association; Minerva Ledwitch manages the Bristol, Bath and North Somerset branch. Blood, soil and committee structure.

Boafervem (n.) /ˌbɔːfəˈvɛm/

Both of them. Estuarine contraction.

Bolivaristos Collectivos de Caracas /bo.li.βaˈɾis.tos ko.lek.ˈti.βos de kaˈɾa.kas/

Supposed Venezuelan source of Quicksotte and Ledwitch’s organic gluten-free molasses. Revolution, imported by the spoonful.

Boner’s Palsy /ˈbəʊ.nəz ˈpɔːl.zi/

Affliction of the Honourable Member involving loss of function, sensation or credibility. Herod has the primary case; Emanuel Künt claims secondary exposure.

Bordel /bɔʁ.dɛl/

Brothel [French]. In Gamina’s domestic lexicon, a practical destination for obtaining rubbeeng.

Bowffin (adj.) /ˈboʊfɪn/

Smelling strongly, with the intimation of unpleasantness [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Bristolian Chronicles /brɪˈstəʊ.li.ən ˈkrɒn.ɪ.kəlz/

Bibliographic designation for Craven’s Bristol sequence. In Helix it appears as apparatus, not as a diegetic institution.

Brown study /ˌbraʊn ˈstʌd.i/

State of gloomy abstraction. The mental bath into which the Luncheon household periodically lowers itself.

Brown Windsor Soup (n. phrase) /braʊn ˈwɪnzər suːp/

Betimes a mousse, betimes a Wurst, ever the savour of the Copraphage.

budgie /ˈbʌd͡ʒi/

Budgerigar. Small psittaciform domestic bird; Arabella Melopsittaca is the principal specimen.

Cancer stick (n. phrase) /ˈkæn.sər stɪk/

Cigarette.

Candaulism /ˌkænˈdɑl.ɪ.zəm/

Paraphilia involving the exposure or display of one’s partner. In Buggery circles, another matter suitable for committee-level discussion.

Cant /kænt/

Anything Sir Hearty Luncheon dislikes. A category broad enough to include youth, politics, fashion and most of modernity.

cauchemar (n.) /ˈkoʊʃ.mɑr/

Nightmare [French].

French

charivari /ʃɑːɹɪˈvɑːɹi/

Rough music, mock procession or public shaming. Medusa’s preferred civic technology for converting grievance into theatre.

Chemin de fer (n. phrase) /ʃəˈmɛ̃ də fɛr/

Railway [French - literally, “iron road”].

French

Chewish kvestion /ˈtʃuː.ɪʃ ˈkves.tʃən/

Gamina Dročerpyatova’s rendering of the Jewish Question. A piece of imported political vocabulary made no wiser by accent.

Chimmical (adj.) /ˈtʃɪmɪkəl/

Chemical [vernacular].

vernacular

China White (n. phrase) /ˈtʃaɪ.nə waɪt/

High quality heroin or fentanyl analogue.

Chlamydiathon (n.) /kləˈmɪd.i.ə.θɒn/

Marathon event of sustained sexual misadventure. Terminal phase marked by rash, remorse, and recitative.

Chocolate starfish (n.) /ˈtʃɒklət ˈstɑːrfɪʃ/

Bumhole.

Chthonic (adj.) /ˈθɒnɪk/

Pertaining to the Underworld. [Greek: χθόνιος: in/under the earth].

Greek

Chthonic deities /ˈθɒn.ɪk ˈdeɪ.ɪ.tiz/

The powers beneath the earth, invoked whenever Bristol’s lower floors, drains or neighbours require classical accreditation.

Clamjamfry (n.) /ˈklæmˌdʒæmfraɪ/

Mob or collection of worthless odds and ends [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Clarty (adj.) /ˈklɑːrti/

Dirty or muddy [Scots/Doric]

Scots

Codex Occultatum Optimatium /ˈkoː.dɛks ɔk.kʊlˈtaː.tʊm ɔp.tɪˈmaː.tɪ.ʊm/

Secret constitutional manual of aristocratic immunity. Cited when ordinary law threatens to remember that noblemen have bodies.

colonic irrigation /kəˈlɒn.ɪk ˌɪr.ɪˈɡeɪ.ʃən/

Hydraulic cleansing of the colon. In Minerva Ledwitch’s hands, also a programme for the regeneration of Stokes Croft.

Comble (n.) /kɔ̃bl/

Crowd, with implications of overcrowding. See ‘foule’.

Combled (n.) /kɒmbld/

Crowded. By implication, over-crowded.

Confirmed bachelor (n. phrase) /kənˈfɜːmd ˈbætʃələr/

A poor thrower. The term, already belied by the existence of beards was fully vitiated by Lord Cameron’s legislation.

Confuckin’servatives /kənˌfʌk.ɪnˈsɜː.və.tɪvz/

Wankstain’s proposed party of choice. Conservatism with the verbal tic already built into the brand.

Contemporaneous Traumatic Stress Disorder or Shallow Shock /kənˌtem.pəˈreɪ.ni.əs trɔːˈmæt.ɪk ˈstres dɪsˈɔː.də ɔː ˈʃæl.əʊ ˈʃɒk/

Cheseham’s instant trauma response to proximity with Wankstain. Psychiatry, accelerated to conversational speed.

Copracentric hobbyist community /ˌkɒp.rəˈsen.trɪk ˈhɒb.i.ɪst kəˈmjuː.nɪ.ti/

Amelia De’Ath’s specialist clientele. A market segment best left to the imagination and her washable equipment.

Coprasopher (n.) /ˈkɒp.rə.sɒf.ər/

Prophetical cove, who examines for auguries the spoor of beast and man.

Corvid /ˈkɔɹvɪd/

Crow-family bird. Ian Corby is the local exemplar and civic proof that taxonomy need not impede public office.

Corvus [ˈkɔr.wʊs]

Crow or raven genus [Latin]. The classical label attached to Ian Corby’s tribe.

Cottage (n.) /ˈkɒtɪdʒ/

An edifice, ordinarily a public gentlemen’s water closet, used by confirmed bachelors, friends of Dorothy, and poor throwers as a kennel.

Council of the Gods (n. phrase) /ˈkaʊn.səl əv ðə ɡɒdz/

The appointed trustees of Lord Snatch, including such luminaries as Sir Hearty Luncheon, Lord Handjob, and Sir Ezra Tertiary-Syphilis. Meets to discuss matters of legacy, hygiene, and insurance liability.

craque fumeurs /kʁak fy.mœʁ/

Crack-smokers [mock/Frenchified vernacular]. One constituency in the novel’s urban anthropology.

Crystal methodism /ˈkrɪs.təl ˈmeθ.ə.dɪ.zəm/

Ian Corby’s unresolved synthesis of stimulant culture and nonconformist theology. Discussion repeatedly obstructed by hipsters.

Dasein /dɑː.zʌɪn/

Being-there, Heideggerianly speaking. In Lord Snatch’s hands, a philosophical warrant for being exactly where he has no business to be.

demimondaine /ˌdem.i.mɒnˈdeɪn/

Woman of the demi-monde [French]. A polite nineteenth-century wrapper for a subject the novel is unlikely to leave polite.

Diamorphine /daɪəˈmɔːfiːn/

Heroin in its medical clothes. Applied here to Lady Snatch’s burns with the respectability denied it elsewhere.

Digestionnaire (n.) /daɪˈdʒɛs.tʃəˌnɛr/

Coprophage, coprophile [French].

French

Dildo /ˈdɪldəʊ/

Artificial erect penis. Also, given sufficient philosophy, a problem in teleology, literary history and insurance.

Dilution beyond Avogadro’s Constant (n. phrase) /daɪˈluː.ʃən biˈjɒnd ˌæv.əˈɡɑː.droʊz ˈkɒn.stənt/

The dilution of a mixture beyond the threshold at which a molecule of a given substance can reasonably be expected to be present.

Dinjerley /ˈdɪn.dʒə.li/

A condition of impecunity, crisis and generally disagreeable financial exposure. Particularly vexing when superadded to aristocracy, addiction or matrimony.

Dionysiacs /ˌdaɪ.əˈnɪz.i.æks/

Revellers of the Bacchic tendency. The street mob once drums, drink and grievance have acquired a classical education.

Dogging (n.) /ˈdog.ɪŋ/

Engaging in sexual activity with strangers, typically outdoors.

Dogmuckery (noun) /ˈdɒɡˌmʌkəri/

A particularly egregious form of cant, usually pertaining to moralistic or theological discourse and accompanied by an odour of self-satisfaction.

Doyolek /ˈdɔɪ.ə.lek/

Supposed barbarous tongue in which Francis MacMahon imagines Ian Corby to speak. Linguistics by sales patter.

Drunques /drʌŋks/

Drunks [vernacular]. Common street furniture in Stokes Croft and Montypee.

Dubstep Dialectic (n. phrase) /ˈdʌb.stɛp ˌdaɪəˈlɛktɪk/

A philosophical standoff conducted at 150bpm. Features in Sleaze’s retreat, where tantric instruction and preposterous jargon collide with screaming synth lines.

Dubstep Serenade (n. phrase) /ˈdʌb.stɛp ˌsɛr.əˈneɪd/

A failed erotic overture delivered by Onanisticles the scagsmith via mobile phone speaker during the late stage of an orgy. Features industrial shrieks, digital shrillness, and a mass failure of the vinegar stroke.

Duma (n.) /ˈduːmə/

Parliament, council, legislative body [Russian].

Russian

Eau de robinet (n. phrase) /oʊ də ˈroʊ.bɪ.neɪ/

Tap water. [French]

French

Ecdysis /ˈek.dɪ.sɪs/

Shedding of skin. Ordinarily zoological; at Spa Elysium, a premium treatment outcome.

Eco-lala /ˈiː.kəʊˌlɑː.lɑː/

Don Quicksotte’s booming sustainability discourse. Wind, virtue and unanswerability in equal measure.

Eggmoney (n.) /ˈɛɡˌmʌni/

Hegemony [local vernacular].

local

Eglise de la Bouteille (n. phrase) /eɪˈɡliːz də la buːˈteɪjeɪ/

Church of the Bottle [French]. The street drinking fraternity.

French

E la peste de Cipriano (n. phrase) /eɪ lə pɛste də sɪp.riˈɑː.nəʊ/

It is the plague of Cyprian. [Italian]

Italian

Emesis /ˈɛmɪsɪs/

Vomiting in its classical dress. In Pretty Poli it even acquires a goddess and roadside shrines, because simple nausea would be insufficiently ceremonial.

Emetos /ˈem.ɪ.tɒs/

Purging god. Patron of emesis, nausea and the more candid forms of wellness.

Enflèchement (n.) /ɑ̃.flɛʃ.mɑ̃/

Piercing with arrows. [French]

French

entelechy /ɛnˈtɛləki/

The realised tendency of a thing toward its natural end. Alderman Oldphart invokes it to explain Bristol’s inability to leave a Mayoral chair empty.

Enterologist /ˌen.təˈrɒl.ə.dʒɪst/

Specialist in the intestine. A calling particularly well supplied with work in the Cravenverse.

Enterologistan (n.) /ˌɛn.tə.rɒl.əˈdʒɪs.tæn/

The conceptual space pertaining to digestive medicine.

Entropy /ˈɛntɹəpi/

The Second Law of Thermodynamics pressed into psychiatric service by Dr Narziss von Sociopath. Disorder, conveniently, has a diagnosis.

epoché (n.) /ɛˈpɒk.e/

The suspension of judgement, a concept in Hellenistic philosophy, especially among sceptics e.g. Sextus Empiricus. [French]

French

Equine anaesthetics /ˈek.waɪn ˌæn.əsˈθet.ɪks/

Horse tranquillizers. Hawksmoor’s preferred pharmaceutical bridge between public duty and oblivion.

Equus Tranquillus (n. phrase) /ˈɛk.wəs træŋˈkwɪl.əs/

Mr Luvvertory's Latinised ketamine: tranquil horse in name, chemical wormhole in practice. Consumers may emerge persuaded they are spaghetti.

Escalier (n.) /ˌɛˈskælieɪ/

Staircase [French].

French

Esprit d’escalier (n. phrase) /ɛsˌpriː dɛs.kæl.jeɪ/

Spirit of the staircase. Conceiving a witty riposte when its moment has passed. Alternatively, in the context of the Phantom Crapper subplot in Amoeba Dick, being overcome by the urge to defecate on the staircase. [French]

French

Eukaryote (n.) /juːˈkæ.ri.əʊt/

Unicellular organism containing a distinct membrane-bound nucleus.

Failson (n.) /ˈfeɪl.sən/

Male resident of Montpelier, so-called because he is typically the wastrell scion of one or more of the bourgeois triumpalist families predominant in Clifton.

Farrow & Ball tones /ˈfær.əʊ ən ˈbɔːl ˈtəʊnz/

Tastefully muted bourgeois shades. Applied by the narrator to Hawksmoor’s mature plumage.

Fattitude (n.) /ˈfæt.ɪ.tjuːd/

The forthright, not to say confrontational, not to say obnoxious demeanour of the fat acceptance fraternity or sorority.

Felchers and fisters and fellativists /ˈfel.tʃəz ən ˈfɪs.təz ən fəˈleɪ.tɪ.vɪsts/

Nocturnal congregants of Dogging Wood classified by preferred manual or oral speciality. Winter proves the stronger sectarian force.

Felching (n.) /ˈfɛltʃɪŋ/

Oral ingestion of small motile gamete from faecal drain following Congress.

Fenetral (adj.) /fəˈnɛtrəl/

Pertaining to windows [French].

French

Fentanyl Evangelism (n. phrase) /ˈfɛntənɪl ɪˈvændʒəˌlɪzəm/

Devotional fervour applied to the pursuit of synthetic opioids. Characteristic of Lady Snatch’s desperation. Contains no doctrine, only dosage.

Filthocracy (n.) /fɪlˈθɒk.rə.si/

Government by the perverse and flatulent. The Senseless Counterfeit posits this as the dominant regime of contemporary Bristol.

Flâneur (n.) /flæˈnɜr/

Idle pavement stroller or loafer [French].

French

Flatulentia obstetrix incontinentiae (n. phrase) /ˌflætʃ.əˈlɛn.ti.ə ɒb.steɪˈtrɪks ɪnˌkɒn.tɪ.nɛn.tɪˈiː/

Flatulence is incontinence’s midwife [Latin].

Latin

Flatulist /ˈflæt͡ʃəlɪst/

Professional or gifted breaker of wind. Marshall Petoman raises the practice to evidential significance.

Flibbertigibbet /ˌflɪbətiˈdʒɪbɪt/

A light, flighty or capricious person. In Mangotsfield, also a category capacious enough for whichever nuisance is currently being discussed.

Folie de jeunesse /fɔ.li də ʒœ.nɛs/

Youthful folly [French]. The retrospective category by which mature scoundrels convert old misconduct into biography.

Fonctionnaire (n.) /ˌfɒŋk.sjɒˈnɛər/

Manager. Bureaucrat. [French]

French

Foule (n.) /fuːl/

Crowd, with implications of overcrowding. See ‘comble’.

Fournier’s Gangrene (n. phrase) /ˈfʊr.ni.eɪz ˈɡæŋ.ɡriːn/

Gangrene affecting the genitals, a notorious victim whereof being Herod the manager of Pex ‘n’ Quads gym in Hotwells, q.v. Amoeba Dick.

Franchement, je te trouve vachement chiant (n. phrase) /frɑːnʃ.mɑ̃ ʒə tə tʁuv vaʃə.mɑ̃ ʃjɑ̃/

To be honest, you’re really pissing me off [French].

French

Francis (The Choise of Valentines) /ˈfɹɑːnsɪs/

Tomalin's elusive beloved in Nashe's Choise of Valentines. Pursued from rural retreat to brothel so that the dildo may enter English literary history.

Freikörperkultur /ˈfʁaɪ̯kœʁpɐkʊlˌtuːɐ̯/

Free-body culture [German]. Nudism with sufficient compound noun to pass for civilisation.

Friend of Dorothy (n. phrase) /ˈfrɛnd əv ˈdɒr.ə.θi/

Male homosexual. Alludes to the affection of members of the poor throwing community for The Wizard of Oz, and in particular for its protagonist Dorothy Gale, played by Judy Garland.

Ganymedic Overinvestment (noun) /ˌɡænɪˈmɛdɪk ˌəʊvərɪnˈvɛstmənt/

The act of placing disproportionate emotional or intellectual value on youthful beauty or ephebic charm. Usually ends badly.

Gear (n.) /ɡɪər/

Narcotics.

Geçmiş Olsun (n. phrase) /ɡɛtʃ.miʃ ˈɔl.suːn/

May it pass quickly. Turkish valedictory.

Gimp /ɡɪmp/

Sacerdotal office combining bondage, abasement and local government by chess. The incumbent enjoys privileges chiefly in the field of humiliating his bondsman.

Gimperous (adj.) /ˈɡɪmpərəs/

Of or pertaining to gimpery, rubber/neoprene fetishism. Occasionally a pejorative adjective describing cyclists who wear lycra.

Gimp of the Apocalypse (n. phrase) /ɡɪmp əv ði əˈpɒk.ə.lɪps/

Unverified but on-brand term for the latex-clad harbingers of civilisational decline.

Gitisme (n.) /ɡɪtˈɪzəm/

This is what the Frenchies call good old honest Anglo-Saxon cottaging.

Godemiche /ɡɔd.mi.ʃe/

Dildo [French]. The instrument against which Fadya's sooth-saying flower issues its least cryptic prophecy.

Gospodin (n.) /ˈɡɒs.pədɪn/

Russian and South Slavic honorific.

Graffer (n.) /ˈɡræfər/

Graffiti artist. Person partial to palimpsesm

Hagranilozites (n.) /ˌhæɡrəˌnɪləˈzɪts/

Agranulocytosis [vernacular]. Acute lowered white blood cell count, leading to neutropenia. Sufferers are at risk of serious infection owing to the immune system compromise associated with this condition. Typically associated with the abuse of adulterated cocaine.

vernacular

Hanarchit (n.) /ˈhænərkɪt/

Anarchist [vernacular].

vernacular

Handjob Luncheon /ˈhænd.dʒɒb ˈlʌn.tʃən/

Integrated investment bank of Sir Hearty Luncheon and Lord Handjob. Buys money, sells money, and converts friendship with power into a diversified portfolio.

Handsiness /ˈhænd.zɪ.nəs/

The condition of being excessively manual with one’s fellow citizens. Mince is an advanced practitioner.

Haruspex [haˈrʊs.pɛks]

Diviner by inspection of entrails. At Bristol gyms, a management grade.

Hegemonic Scourge of the Patriarchy /ˌhedʒ.ɪˈmɒn.ɪk ˈskɜːdʒ əv ðə ˈpeɪ.tri.ɑː.ki/

Magniloquent name for male domination when ordinary patriarchy will not sufficiently fill the banner.

Hellevant’s Voot (n. phrase) /ˈhɛl.ə.vənts vuːt/

Umbrella stand of uncertain vocation: urinal, reliquary, altar or all three in succession. Hellevant's Voot rewards misuse of both furniture and certainty.

Henbane /ˈhɛnbeɪn/

Poisonous herb in Fadya's flowers, credited in the play to Apollo and associated with Atropos. Classical botany with a body count.

hierophant /ˈhaɪəɹəˌfænt/

Interpreter of sacred mysteries. Chlamydia's proposed office for Squalor in a masque whose mysteries are principally sexual and punitive.

Higgerance (n.) /ˈhɪɡərəns/

Ignorance [vernacular].

vernacular

High colonics /ˌhaɪ kəˈlɒn.ɪks/

Illingworth’s principal sacrament: the upward irrigation of the bowel in pursuit of wellness, profit and evidential material.

Hinnom /ˈhɪn.ɒm/

Valley of torment invoked by Luvvertory as a synonym for hell. Biblical geography recruited to Bristolian complaint.

Hombonpoint (n.) /ˈhɒmbɒnˌpwæ̃/

Embonpoint [vernacular]. The female bust (at least in the normal course of things).

vernacular

Homoeopathy /ˌhəʊ.miˈɒp.ə.θi/

Therapeutic system in which the active ingredient is removed until only conviction remains. Costa's preferred method of spa maintenance.

Hornotholojit (n.) /ˌhɔrnəˈθɒlədʒɪt/

Ornithologist [vernacular].

vernacular

hortonomes /ˈhɔː.tə.nəʊmz/

Gardeners or cultivators in Medusa’s revolutionary idiom. Those who make a million flowers bloom, chemically where necessary.

House of Snatch (n. phrase) /haʊs əv snætʃ/

The Montpelier … er … squat also known as …er… Squattocrat Heights. Notable for its decaying grandeur, ritual orgies, and unpaying suitors. Occupied by Lord and Lady Snatch, until neither are.

Houyhnhnm /huˈɪn.əm/

Swiftian horse of perfect reason. In Bristol, chiefly useful as the zoological basis of a party disguise.

hypocrisy /hɪˈpɒkɹəsi/

The moral vice universally diagnosed in others and locally practised as a civic art.

Ille Salvator et dui latrones (n. phrase) /ˈɪl.lɛ sælˈveɪ.tɔːr ɛt djuː læˈtrəʊniːz/

The Saviour and two thieves. [Latin]

Latin

In foro publico (n. phrase) /ɪn ˌfɔː.rəʊ ˈpʊb.lɪˌkoʊ/

In the public forum. Publicly. [Latin]

Latin

Jacquerie (n.) /ˈdʒæk.wə.riː/

Peasants revolt in 1358, centred on the Oise Valley North of Paris.

Jacuzzi Culture (n. phrase) /dʒəˈkuː.zi ˈkʌl.tʃər/

The subterranean etiquette governing bodily display, passive-aggressive politics, and erotic self-dissolution in communal spa areas. Particularly manifest at Pex 'n Quads, Quads & Pex down like fuckin’ Easton and Sleaze’s tantric retreats.

Jafakan (n.) /ˈdʒæ.fə.kən/

Cod patois spoken by middle class White kids, q.v. wigger below

Jakes (n.) /dʒeɪks/

Ladies’ or gentlemen’s water closet [late medieval vernacular].

late

Jouissance suivant un coup de main (n. phrase) /ʒwi.sɑ̃s sɥi.vɑ̃ œ̃ ku də mɛ̃/

Post-masturbatory orgasm [French].

French

Junquies /ˈdʒʌŋ.kiz/

Junkies [vernacular]. Frequently observable near pharmacies, scagsmiths and other civic amenities.

Kλύσμα θεά (n. phrase) /ˈklysmə θiˈeɪ/

Enema goddess.

Katabasis /kəˈtæbəsɪs/

A descent into the underworld. Applied to Lord Snatch’s progress through Bristol where ordinary topography proves insufficiently humiliating.

Kennel (n.) /ˈkɛnəl/

A resort where gentlemen and occasionally ladies of the dogging (q.v.) fraternity and occasionally sorority consort for their hobbies of felching (q.v.), armaround (q.v.) and gimpery. Commonly wooded areas, public toilets, and motorway lay-bys.

Ket-legs (n. phrase) /kɛt-lɛɡz/

Ketamine-induced unsteadiness on one’s legs.

Ketonauts /ˈkiː.təʊ.nɔːts/

Frequenters of Mr Luvvertory's chemical cosmos. So named because ordinary users of ketamine insufficiently suggest exploration.

Kettle logic (n.) /ˈkɛt.lə.lɒ.dʒɪk/

A style of argument comprised of contradictory, redundant, or mutually annihilating claims, all delivered with Marxist certainty. Embodied by St Just, though not so called.

Khazi (n.) /ˈkɑː.zi/

Toilet.

K-holing /ˈkeɪ.həʊ.lɪŋ/

Ketamine-induced descent into the hole. Mobility optional; metaphysics unavoidable.

‘Kinnell (n.) /kɪˈnɛl/

Fucking Hell. An epithet. Also used as an eponym referring to yobboes, thugs, churls and other common, coarse, base and vulgar ne’er-do-wells given to the utterance thereof.

Kismet /ˈkɪz.mɛt/

Fate with one word and no appeals process: Kismet, usually uttered just after somebody discovers there is no cooling-off period.

Klismatics (n.) /klɪzˈmætɪks/

Pertaining to the study or administration of enema [from the Greek].

from

Klýsma /ˈklɪz.mə/

Enema [Greek]. The classical dignity of the word does not improve the procedure.

Knickers /ˈnɪkəz/

Garment demanded in one of Hawksmoor’s less elevated marital exchanges. Ornithology offers no exemption from underwear.

‘Ksakes (n.) /ksæks/

Fucksakes. An epithet.

Kunstwerk (n.) /ˈkʊnst.vɛrk/

Artwork [German].

German

Kushite /ˈkʊʃ.aɪt/

Term applied to Suliman, invoking ancient Kush and his Sudanese origin. A classicalising demonym in a neighbourhood not otherwise overburdened with ethnography.

Lacunae (n.) /ləˈkjuː.niː/

Gaps. [Latin]

Latin

Landreaughver (n.) /ˈlænd.roʊ.vər/

Landrover.

Laudanum (n.) /ˈlɔːdənəm/

Tincture of opium. A term adapted metonymously by Lord Snatch and his ilk to denote heroin.

Lavatorial Epic (n. phrase) /ˌlævəˈtɔː.ri.əl ˈɛpɪk/

A muck-genre term describing Odour Issues as a whole. Marries heroic structure with scatological content, parodic diction, and faecal mess-en-scène.

L’enfer, c’est les autres oiseaux (n. phrase) /lɑ̃.fɛʁ sɛ lɛz oˈtʁə wazo/

Hell is other birds. [French, paraphrasing a notorious line from J.P. Sartre’s Huis Clos].

Leninists /ˈlen.ɪ.nɪsts/

Adherents of Lenin encountered among the radical stalls. One shade of rouge in Hamilton House’s political paintbox.

Lèse majesté (n. phrase) /ˈleɪz mædʒɛsˈteɪ/

Offence against the dignity of a monarch or high official [French].

French

Lex Matrimonia Avum /lɛks ma.trɪ.ˈmoː.nɪ.a ˈaː.wʊm/

Law of avian marriage [mock Latin]. The juridical scaffolding beneath birds behaving badly.

Likeney /ˈlaɪk.nɪ/

Wankstain verbal filler and disease of discourse. Like, but with the pathological persistence of public-sector consultancy.

Lotophage

Person partial to psychoactive substances. Smackhead. Knight errant questing to chase if perhaps not to slay the dragon.

Lotophagia /ˌləʊ.təˈfeɪ.dʒi.ə/

The condition of lotus-eating: narcotic ease, pleasurable torpor and the abandonment of whatever business had seemed pressing five minutes earlier.

Lux rationis (n. phrase) /lʌks ˈræʃ.ən.ɪs/

Light of reason [Latin].

Latin

Lysergic acid diethylamide /laɪˌsɜː.dʒɪk ˈæs.ɪd daɪˌeθ.ɪlˈæm.aɪd/

Lysergic acid diethylamide, or LSD. Psychedelic chemistry pressed into service in The Senseless Counterfeit with the usual indifference to ordinary applications.

Machiavelli’s sneering smile /ˌmæk.i.əˈvel.iz ˈsnɪə.rɪŋ ˈsmaɪl/

The grin under which Squalor imagines the play to have been composed: policy, duplicity and theatrical malice reduced to facial expression.

Maiouma /maɪˈuː.mə/

Hot-tub rite of personal disintegration. Psorietes comes to slump and brood in it; management later contrives to turn the same maiouma into an event.

Manus destris (n. phrase) /ˈmeɪ.nʊs ˈdɛs.trɪs/

Right hand. [Latin]

Latin

Maomentum /ˌmaʊ.əʊˈmen.təm/

Nonbinary brown-shirted dignity squad and personal security arm of the acid-chucking left. Bicycle chains, billiard-ball socks and revolutionary crowd control by direct action.

Mark Antony /ˌmɑːk ˈæn.tə.ni/

Roman and Shakespearean lover summoned by the narrator only to be denied. Cheseham’s Charybdis courtship wants an Antony; it gets Crass.

masque /mɑːsk/

Masked dramatic entertainment, here weaponised by Chlamydia as an instrument of public unmasking. The Dogger's Dinner is revenge with stage directions.

Meltemi (n.) /ˈmɛl.tə.miː/

Strong, dry wind afflicting Greek summer.

Membrum virile (n. phrase) /ˈmɛmbrəm vɪˈraɪli/

A gentleman’s Honourable Member [Latin]. Todger. Willy. Thing. Einäugigenhosenschlange, as our Teutonic friends would not put it.

Latin

Mésalliance (n.) /ˌmeɪ.zəˈlɑːns/

Unstable alliance of non-converging interests [French].

French

Mezzanine membership /ˈmez.ə.niːn ˈmem.bə.ʃɪp/

Second-class gym salvation. Membership sufficient for the mezzanine, insufficient for the sacred waters.

Minchia che segoiolo (n. phrase) /ˈmɪn.kiː.ə kɛ ˈsɛ.dʒoʊ.iː.loʊ/

Christ what a wanker. [Italian]

Italian

Molotov cocktails /ˈmɒl.ə.tɒf ˈkɒk.teɪlz/

Petrol bomb. The preferred meeting paper of the more practical wing of the Cause.

Monchild-Rothsanto project /ˈmɒn.tʃaɪld ˈrɒθ.sæn.təʊ ˈprɒdʒ.ekt/

Redevelopment interest poised over Squattocrat Towers. A corporate proper noun carrying demolition in its briefcase.

Montypee (n.) /ˈmɒn.taɪ.piː/

Montpelier. Louche Bristolian suburb populated by Cliftonian failsons. Designated yobbery.

Moriscos (n.) /mɒˈrɪs.kɒs/

Andalusian Moors populating Iberia following its conquest by the Ummayad Caliphate in the early 8th century.

Mouton noir (n. phrase) /muːtɔ̃ nwɑr/

Black sheep [French]. Schwartze Schaffe is the Bosch term.

French

Munter (n.) /ˈmʌn.tər/

Idiot.

Munter’s Blinding Cider /ˈmʌn.təz ˈblaɪn.dɪŋ ˈsaɪ.də/

Fermented apple favoured by Solomon and the philosophical poor. Strong enough to illuminate only by extinguishing.

Muttigeetin’ hazurrrds /ˈmʌt.i.ɡiː.tɪn ˈhæz.ədz/

Ian Corby’s rendering of ‘mitigating hazards’. Risk management translated into broad Scots and municipal optimism.

Nabokovian /ˌnæb.əˈkəʊ.vi.ən/

Adjectival literary fraternity claimed by Slime and Sleaze. Their browser histories make the fellowship less innocently bibliographical than the word first suggests.

Nabokovian Google history /ˌnæb.əˈkəʊ.vi.ən ˈɡuː.ɡəl ˈhɪs.tər.i/

Slime's compromising online archaeology, sufficiently literary to be called Nabokovian and sufficiently compromising to interest the Feds.

National Socialist /ˌnæʃ.ən.əl ˈsəʊ.ʃə.lɪst/

Political designation adopted or discussed by several of the parish’s more enterprising reactionaries. History, locally franchised.

National Socialist narrative /ˌnæʃ.ən.əl ˈsəʊ.ʃə.lɪst ˈnær.ə.tɪv/

Mr Morton Stanley’s proposed revision of history. A narrative whose principal defect is not lack of confidence.

Necrotizing fasciitis /ˈnek.rə.taɪ.zɪŋ ˌfæs.iˈaɪ.tɪs/

Flesh-eating soft-tissue infection. One of the less reassuring footnotes to communal bathing.

Neep-heid (n.) /nip-hid/

Turnip-head. Disparaging term [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Nembutal /ˈnem.bjʊ.tɒl/

Pentobarbital. Short-acting barbiturate employed to ease an animal’s passage out of this world.

Nequia /ˈnek.wi.ə/

A consultation with the dead, or descent among them, adapted for Lord Snatch’s mock-epic itinerary.

Neurotic Historicism (noun) /njʊˈrɒtɪk hɪˈstɒrɪsɪzəm/

An anxiety-ridden obsession with historical cycles, in which each present moment is misread as echo or retribution.

Nilists (n.) /ˈnaɪlɪsts/

Nihilists [vernacular]. In the context of sociopolitical ethics, persons without goals save for the destruction of all human institutions, whether concrete or abstract.

vernacular

N’importe quoiqu’elle s’appelle (n. phrase) /nɛ̃.pɔʁt kɔkɛl sa.pɛl/

No matter how she styles herself [French].

French

Obol (n.) /ˈɒb.əʊl/

Coin placed on the eyes of departed souls in order to pay Charon to row them across the Styx to Hades.

Ockam’s Razor /ˈɒk.əmz ˈreɪ.zə/

Principle of explanatory economy, misspelled but serviceable. Applied to faecal detection with mixed results.

Omphalos (n.) /ˈɒmfəlɒs/

Navel, belly button. Metaphorical heart or centre [Greek].

Greek

Orgone of the Suitors (n. phrase) /ˈɔː.ɡəʊn əv ðə ˈsuː.təz/

Post-coital field of ejaculate blanketing the mattresses of … er … Squattocrat Heights.

orientalism /ˌɔː.riˈen.tə.lɪ.zəm/

The East as furnishing fabric for the Western imagination. Also useful when one’s hypocrisy requires an ashram.

Pammerin’ (adj.) /ˈpæmərɪn/

Shabbily dressed, staggering [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Patriarchy /ˈpeɪ̯tɹɪɑːkɪ/

System by which men are held collectively responsible for everything objectionable. Useful both analytically and for shouting.

Peely-Wallyism (noun) /ˈpiːli ˈwæli.ɪzəm/

The condition of being perennially insipid, pallid, or emotionally incontinent, especially in artistic expression. [Scots/Vernacular].

Scots

Penthouse membership /ˈpent.haʊs ˈmem.bə.ʃɪp/

Premium gym salvation. Full access to the facilities, including those most likely to kill you.

Perfidious Tremblement (n. phrase) /pəˈfɪd.i.əs ˈtrɛm.blə.mɒ̃/

Euphemism for cowardly orgasm or belated moral panic. Often experienced mid-soliloquy by minor characters.

Perrokit /ˈper.ə.kɪt/

Parrot, or specifically Hawksmoor Perroquet, viewed through vernacular phonetics.

Perspira /pəˈspaɪ.rə/

Minor goddess of sweat, invoked whenever Jason yobspray loses the theological argument with the human armpit.

Pewlies (n.) /ˈpjuːliz/

Seagulls [Scots/Doric].

Scots

pewlies’ eggs /ˈpjuː.liz ˈeɡz/

Seagulls’ eggs [Scots/Doric hybrid]. Gourmet aspiration of Ian Corby.

Pharmacy (n.) /ˈfɑː.mə.si/

Premises specialising in the retail of substances prohibited under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971.

Pikey (n.) /ˈpaɪ.ki/

Gypsy. Pejorative.

Pikeys /ˈpaɪ.kiz/

Pejorative term for Travellers or other people imagined as such. Used by the narrative as part of its deliberately coarse social lexicon.

Pimms /pɪmz/

Fruit-cup lubricant of Sir Ezra and Sir Hearty. Imperial summer cordial for men arranging tax and democracy.

Pompinaro (n.) /ˌpɒm.pɪˈnɑː.roʊ/

Cocksucker [Italian].

Italian

Poncemaking /ˈpɒns.meɪ.kɪŋ/

Dr Mark Wankstain’s professional science of making places, presentations and civic nonsense look strategic.

Pont des soupirs (n. phrase) /pɒnt deɪ suːˈpiərz/

Bridge of sighs [French].

French

Porca Madonna (n. phrase) /ˈpɔːr.kə məˈdɒn.nə/

Pig Madonna. Obscene Italian epithet.

Porch of Shame (n. phrase) /pɔːtʃ əv ʃeɪm/

Architectural feature used for moral exposition and dramatic ejection. Commonly found outside …er… squat theatres and within third acts.

Porlock (n. prop.) /ˈpɔː.lɒk/

Referential figuration of the interruption of poetic vision. The narrator likens his desecration of a Travelodge in Leigh Delamere to Coleridge’s dream-ruining visitor. Foam unto foam.

poshtitute /ˈpɒʃ.tɪ.tjuːt/

Prostitute serving the affluent classes. Lady Snatch qualifies only approximately, marriage having complicated the taxonomy.

Poshtitution /ˌpɒʃ.tɪˈtjuː.ʃən/

Prostitution with better vowels. Practised by persons for whom class remains important even when trousers do not.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc (n. phrase) /ˌpəʊst ˈhɒk ˈɜː.ɡəʊ ˈprɒp.tər ˈhɒk/

After this therefore because of this [Latin]. Informal logical fallacy inferring causation from correlation.

Latin

Priapic Epiphany (noun) /praɪˈæpɪk ɪˈpɪfəni/

A sudden and usually unearned insight accompanied by or resulting in unwarranted sexual confidence.

probate /ˈpɹəʊbeɪt/

The legal machinery by which Slime's inheritance removes him from his squat and, later, by which his associates discuss the redistribution of his cannabis.

Profanum vulgus /proˈfaː.nʊm ˈwʊl.ɡʊs/

The common crowd [Latin], summoned whenever the surrounding multitude needs the dignity of Horace before being dismissed again.

Prostaglandin /pɹɒstəˈɡlændɪn/

Biochemical agent invoked by Amelia De’Ath in the practical matter of hurrying along little bubbas.

Protist (n.) /ˈprəʊ.tɪst/

Eukaryotic organism that is not an animal, land plant or fungus.

Pseudomonas aeruginosa /ˌsjuː.dəˈməʊ.nəs ˌeə.ruː.dʒɪˈnəʊ.sə/

Common hot-tub bacterium and dermatological nuisance. In the present contest, merely the undercard to Aeromonas.

Pseudomonas folliculitis /ˌsjuː.dəˈməʊ.nəs fəˌlɪk.jʊˈlaɪ.tɪs/

Hot-tub rash caused by Pseudomonas. The comparatively genteel end of the communal-spa disease spectrum.

psittaciform /sɪˈtæs.ɪ.fɔːm/

Of the order Psittaciformes: parrots and their kin. Hawksmoor’s zoological condition beneath the civic regalia.

Psittacine Lacuna (noun) /ˈsɪtəsaɪn ləˈkjuːnə/

A gap or omission in parrot-related history, discourse, or memory; a species of avian forgetfulness.

Psittacus Erithacus /ˈsɪt.ə.kəs ɪˈrɪθ.ə.kəs/

African Grey Parrot [taxonomic Latin, now Psittacus erithacus]. Species designation of Hawksmoor Perroquet.

Psorietist /ˈsɔː.ri.ə.tɪst/

Adherent or specimen of the Psorietes tendency. Flaky in more than the ideological sense.

‘Pster /ˈpstə/

Remote tribe for whom organic sundries and artisanal fripperies are indispensable. Hipsterism with the first syllable gentrified away.

Psychopathic chefs /ˌsaɪ.kəˈpæθ.ɪk ˈʃefs/

Fukboi's school of applied cuisine, represented by cheese grater, blow-torch and pliers. The ingredients are Slime.

Pyromaniacs /ˌpaɪ.rəʊˈmeɪ.ni.æks/

Persons paired, for botanical purposes, with rue in Fadya's catalogue of grief. Their exact horticultural entitlement remains unexplained.

Quicksotte/Ledwitch investment portfolio /kwɪkˈsɒt ˈled.wɪtʃ ɪnˈvest.mənt pɔːtˈfəʊ.li.əʊ/

Financial holdings of the Mangotsfield household. The quiet balance-sheet beneath windmills, wellness and Charybdis.

Quod veriter dubitandum sit (n. phrase) /kwɒd ˈvɛ.rɪ.tɜː ˌduː.bɪˈtæn.dʊm sɪt/

Which is truly to be doubted [Latin]. Expression of scepticism.

Latin

Ramasseurs /ʁa.ma.sœʁ/

Salvagers instructed to recover the marketable remains of an estate when aristocratic responsibility has proved non-performing.

Rắn Hổ Mang Máu (n. phrase) /răn hɔ məŋ maʊ/

Cobra blood [Vietnamese]. A delicacy to which the oenophiles congregating at the Toreau et Ours are partial.

Vietnamese

Rasputin /ræˈspjuː.tɪn/

The supposed figure in Vagus's dreadful plywood triptych: Rasputin, perhaps, with aristocratic handmaidens, if the paintwork can be trusted that far.

Reality busking /riˈæl.ɪ.ti ˈbʌs.kɪŋ/

Public performance of reality for tourists. The thin man’s diagnosis of Bath on April Fool’s Day.

Rudeness as Praxis (n. phrase) /ˈruːd.nəs æz ˈpræksɪs/

The ideological commitment to public fornication, expletive-laden dialectic, and casual filth as revolutionary acts. Not stated in these terms, but epitomised by St Just and his comrades-in-praxis.

Russian Orthodox /ˈrʌʃ.ən ˈɔː.θə.dɒks/

Ecclesiastical pedigree claimed for Vagus's plywood triptych, though the execution is so poor that even its figures require guesswork.

samizdat /ˈsæmɪzdæt/

A word dropped by Fadya in disguise as literary small-talk. The play offers no definition, only the expectation that underground culture should have news.

Sanhedrin /sænˈhiː.dɹɪn/

Montpelier’s informal tribunal of disorderly assembly. A sacred council for a parish in which sacredness has been drinking.

Scagmeistery (n.) /ˈskæɡ.maɪst.ər.i/

Drugging, and the lifestyle associated therewith.

Scagsmith (n.) /ˈskæɡ.smɪθ/

A title borne by purveyors of heroin, ketamine, and poetic delusion. Most famously applied to Onanisticles of the ilk, whose afflictions are as metaphorical as they are dermatological.

Scagsmithery /ˈskæɡz.mɪθ.ər.i/

The arts and mysteries of the scagsmith. Commerce, narcotics and the moral atmosphere surrounding both.

Scatological /ˌskæt.əˈlɒdʒ.ɪ.kəl/

Of dung, bottoms and the literature they leave behind. Applied with equal freedom to Vagus's relict, gym aggression and the investigations of the Phantom Crapper.

Schadenfreude (n.) /ˈʃɑː.dən.frɔɪ.də/

Shame-joy [German]. The sociopathological deriving of happiness from the others’ misfortunes.

German

Schlafzimmer /ˈʃlaːfˌt͡sɪmɐ/

Bedroom [German]. The Buggery sleeping chamber acquires foreign dignity without shedding any of its nastiness.

Schwartze Schaffe (n. phrase) /ʃvɑrtsɛ ˈʃæfə/

Black sheep [German]. See also mouton noir.

German

Scirocco (n.) /sɪˈrɒkoʊ/

Strong dry Mediterranean wind originating in the Sahara, often reaching hurricane force.

Scunnered (adj.) /ˈskʌn.ərd/

Bored, enervated, with intimations of overwhelming [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Shanked (n.) /ʃæŋkt/

Stabbed.

Sine qua non (n. phrase) /ˌsaɪ.niː kwɑː ˈnɒn/

Without which not [Latin]. Indispensable.

Latin

Slip x a length (n. phrase) /slɪp eks eɪ leŋθ/

Engage in sexual intercourse with x.

Snatchiad (n.) /ˈsnætʃ.i.æd/

Part Three of Odour Issues, cast as a mock-epic after Homer and Virgil. The Snatchiad gives Lord Snatch the heroic apparatus he manifestly does not deserve.

sophronistae (n.) /ˌsɒfrəˈnɪsti/

Instructors of youth. Groomers. Paedogogues [Greek].

Greek

Spakür Ohne Grenzen (n. phrase) /ˌʃpɑː.kʊər ˈoʊ.nə ˈɡrɛnt.sən/

Spa Cures Without Frontiers [German]. Disaster relief agency.

German

Spartacist /ˈspɑː.tə.sɪst/

Member of the League of Spartacists. Revolutionary by nomenclature, sacrificial victim by algorithm.

Squattocrat Towers /ˈskwɒt.ə.kræt ˈtaʊ.əz/

Decaying Montpelier squat-palace of Lord and Lady Snatch. Manga murals, aristocratic anarchy, salons and eventually redevelopment pressure.

STI /ˌes.tiːˈaɪ/

Sexually transmitted infection. One of the recurrent occupational hazards surrounding Roger Buggery’s professional ecosystem.

Stubbly Delilah (n. phrase) /ˈstʌb.li dɪˈlaɪ.lə/

Bearded seductress of ambiguous gender and unmatched treachery. Associated with betrayal, falsified testimonials, and coconut oil.

Subdialectic appropriation /ˌsʌb.daɪ.əˈlek.tɪk əˌprəʊ.priˈeɪ.ʃən/

Buggeryite theoretical manoeuvre by which Marxism can be made to explain whatever Roger was going to do anyway.

Sudra (n.) /ˈsuː.drə/

White shirt tied with a cord, sacred to Zoroastrians.

Sundarbang (n.) /ˈsʌn.dɑː.bæŋ/

The Sundarbans, mangrove swamp in the Bay of Bengal, located in the delta formed by the confluence of the Ganges, Brahmaputra and Meghna rivers.

Swailed (adj.) /sweɪld/

Swallowed [Scots/Doric].

Scots

Swinking (n.) /ˈswɪŋ.kɪŋ/

Toiling, labouring [from the Anglo-Saxon].

from

Tachycardia (n.) /ˌtæk.ɪˈkɑː.di.ə/

Accelerated heartbeat.

Talcum of Medellin (n. phrase) /ˈtælkəm əv ˈmɛdəˌliːn/

Cocaine hydrochloride, a stimulant.

Tantrical and quaintly lewd /ˈtæn.trɪ.kəl ənd ˈkweɪnt.li ˈluːd/

Chlamydia's compact description of Sleaze's field of expertise. A doctrine broad enough to contain tantra, commerce and whatever happens behind the nunnery door.

Tantric Fiddling (n. phrase) /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈfɪd.lɪŋ/

Euphemism for business practices and preferred foreplay of 'therapists' eg Sleaze, Mr Luvvertory and Mince. Claims to open chakras; in practice, clogs plumbing. Typically performed beside a gimp.

Tantric jizz /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈdʒɪz/

The vulgar residue of Sleaze's spiritual sales pitch. Tantra translated into the idiom in which his neighbours understand it.

tantric nunnery /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈnʌn.ər.i/

Sleaze's name for an establishment devoted to the soothing of tired businessmen. Nunnery in the Shakespearean rather than Benedictine tradition.

Tantric paradise /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈpær.ə.daɪs/

Sheherezade's ironic destination under Sleaze's guidance. Paradise possesses a bower of eternal darkness and an unusually practical revenge itinerary.

tantric soothing /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈsuː.ðɪŋ/

Sleaze's euphemism for the services provided to tired businessmen. Spiritual vocabulary applied where an invoice would be more informative.

Tartarus /ˈtɑː(r)tərəs/

Classical abyss of punishment, invoked when the ordinary Bristol torture repertoire seems insufficiently mythological.

Teleo-functional /ˌtel.i.əʊˈfʌŋk.ʃən.əl/

Of or pertaining to purpose and function. Useful when a Rampant Rabbit refuses to look sufficiently like a penis.

Teufelsdröckhish /ˈtɔɪ.fəlz.drɒk.ɪʃ/

In the wandering, philosophically bedraggled manner of Professor Teufelsdröckh. Applied to Hieronymus abroad in Bristol.

The Bibulous Oath (n. phrase) /ˈbɪb.jʊ.ləs əʊθ/

Sworn in wine, broken in cider. Binding only until the onset of vomiting. Frequently invoked by the dramatis personae.

The Cause (n. phrase) /ðə kɔːz/

An abstraction invoked by St Just to justify revolutionary rhetoric, retail theft, and polyphonic rutting. Contributions to the Cause are expected in the form of fentanyl, ejaculate, or ideology.

Therapeutic treatment centre (n. phrase) /ˌθɛr.əˈpjuː.tɪk ˈtriːt.mənt ˈsɛn.tər/

Bordello.

The Senseless Counterfeit (n.) /ˈkaʊn.tə.fɪt/

The eponymous marital aid. A fake within a fake. Might refer to the text, the self, or the entire performance of postmodern identity.

The wooden Goad of Aristophanes /ðə ˈwʊd.ən ˈɡəʊd əv ˌær.ɪˈstɒf.ə.niːz/

Beer-pump handle of elevated classical nomenclature. Pull toward breast; brown jet ensues.

Toilet trading (n. phrase) /ˈtɔɪ.lɪt ˈtreɪ.dɪŋ/

Lavatorial variant of dogging [q.v.], predominantly a pastime of Abba fans.

q.v.

Tolstoyan /tɒlˈstɔɪ.ən/

Russian-sage chic: beard, sanctity, disreputability and the vague possibility of having wandered out of a very bad icon.

Triangulation /tɹaɪˌæŋɡjʊˈleɪʃən/

Mark Wankstain’s preferred political geometry. Position oneself between incompatible things until the triangle collapses.

tricorn hat /ˈtraɪ.kɔːn ˈhæt/

Lord-Mayoral headgear. Civic authority reduced to three corners and worn by whichever bird presently occupies the perch.

Tricoteuse (n.) /ˈtrɪk.ə.təz/

Knitting woman [French]. Female voyeur at an execution.

French

Trinity (n.) /ˈtrɪnɪti/

Police station since demolished, just behind Old Market.

Triste dictu (n. phrase) /trɪste dɪktu/

Sad to relate [Latin].

Latin

Trotskers (n.) /ˈtrɒtskərz/

Trotskyites [vernacular]. Proponents, originating with the Left Opposition and the Fourth International, of decentralised economic planning, voluntary collectivisation, artistic autonomy, and permanent revolution; in which respects Trotskyism is contrasted with the dirigisme and socialism-in-one-country policies of the Stalinists.

vernacular

Trottoir (n.) /ˌtroʊˈtwɑr/

Pavement [French].

French

Twink (n.) /twɪŋk/

Catamite; Ganymede; the barely legal complement of a bear.

Umbrella Stand of Despair (n. phrase) /ʌmˈbrɛl.ə stænd əv dɪˈspɛər/

A vessel for bodily fluids, discarded latex, or editorial metaphor. See also Hellevant's Voot.

Ursi majores (n. phrase) /ˈɜː.si məˈjɔːr.iːz/

Greater bears. Variously, stellar bodies or pederasts [q.v. bear above].

q.v.

venery /ˈvɛnəɹi/

Sexual congress, used by the stage directions with the decorum appropriate to prostitution transacted outside a Picton Street squat.

Via Bohemiana /ˈviː.ə bəʊˌhiː.miˈɑː.nə/

The Bohemian Way: Lord Snatch’s preferred exemption from petty-bourgeois nicety, hygiene and accountability.

Vim virtus (n. phrase) /vɪm ˈvɜːr.təs/

Manly spirit [Latin].

Latin

Virginia Lupine coiffure /vəˈdʒɪn.i.ə ˈluː.paɪn kwɒˈfjʊə/

Minerva Ledwitch’s elaborate hair arrangement, only inefficiently governed by a wide-awake hat.

Voca necessitatis (n. phrase) /ˈvəʊ.kə nɛ.sɛs.ɪˈtæt.ɪs/

Nature’s call [Latin]. The need to visit the lavatory.

Latin

Volk bissen had genug (n. phrase) /fɔlk ˈbɪsən hæd ɡəˈnuːɡ/

People have had enough [German/vernacular].

German

Vulgar Marxism (noun) /ˈvʌlɡər ˈmɑːksɪz(ə)m/

A crude interpretation of Marxist theory that prioritises economic determinism to the exclusion of all else. See also: "histomat" (historical materialism).

Vulpes atque lupes (n. phrase) /ˈvʊl.piːz æt.kweɪ ˈluː.piːz/

Foxes and wolves [Latin].

Latin

Wanksturbation (n.) /ˈwæŋkˌstərˌbeɪʃən/

The autonomous obtaining of manual relief.

Weihnachtsgeist (n.) /ˈvaɪnaxtsˌɡaɪst/

The ghost of Christmas [German].

German

Wigger (n.) /ˈwɪɡ.ər/

White nigger. Middle class White youth affecting Jafakan [q.v. above].

q.v.

Wohnung (n.) /ˈvoʊnʊŋ/

Living quarters, habitation [German].

German

Wormhole (n.) /ˈwɜːm.həʊl/

Catatonic state induced by ketamine. Users believe themselves to be worms, linguine, or spiritual filaments. Often accompanied by a gnostic urge to swim in urinals.

Xenia /ˈziːniə/

The ancient law of hospitality. Notably violated whenever Ianeass the Gimp receives a guest.

Xrafstar (n.) /ˈkræf.stɑː/

Unclean or impure creatures [from the Persian].

from

Zebubian Ethics (noun) /zɛˈbjuːbiən ˈɛθɪks/

A code of moral behaviour espoused by minor demons; a satanic variation on consequentialism.

Zhaba /ˈʒa.bɐ/

Gamina Dročerpyatova’s жаба, a toadlike term deployed with diagnostic freedom.

Παλιοθήλυκο (n.) /ˈpæl.i.ɒˌθiː.lɪˌkəʊ/

Slut.

Περσεφόνη (n.) /pərˈsɛf.əˌniː/

Persephone. In Greek mythology, daughter of Demeter and Zeus. Her annual abduction/manumission by Hades heralds the onset of Winter/Spring.

Σκύλα (n.) /ˈskʌɪ.lə/

Scylla, bitch.

Ὄλισβος! (n. phrase) /ˈɒl.ɪz.bɒs/

Literally, “unstoppable”. But has come to mean, by etymological processes obscure to the present chronicler, “dildo”.