The source of the commotion may be traced to the penchant which the estimable matron just mentioned has, for the cultivation of pets. When it comes to pet cultivation, Lady Luncheon does not in her enthusiasm scruple to discriminate between the literal and the figurative, the zoo and the salon, but bestows her affections without fear or favour, alike upon malignant chihuahua as upon toadying courtier. In this latter respect, it is more and more Mr Roger Buggery who, having been vey nastily supplanted by Mr Rex Anusol in the affections both of Ms. Amelia De’Ath and of the Senior Cadre Intimate Needs Commissariat, finds himself in his turn - and considerably more nilly than willy - vey nastily supplanting Mr Widdles in the affections of Lady Luncheon. —
Mr Roger Buggery, Amelia De’Ath, Mr Rex Anusol, Luncheon Salon Committee, Lady Luncheon
The evening to which this extensive preamble has finally delivered us begins with Mr Roger Buggery being knocked up at home in Eastville in just such a summary manner by Mr Jagtar Singh, who with curled lip bids the wretch to insert himself into the rear of the swart Lexus, wherein the naugahyde plush receives his presence, giving forth in response a sigh of exasperation. Mr Jagtar Singh on this occasion as on so many others contrives to drive his passenger vey fast indeed over all the uneven road surfaces he can find between Eastville and Nempnett Thrubwell; as a result of which, Mr Roger Buggery upon alighting at Luncheon Hall is dyspeptic and disposed to emesis. Slithering underneath the freezing baleful eyes, and slinking away from the cold sneer, he is admitted into the Presence where, hailed again as Golly Rog, he is promptly and to his painfully swallowed rancour entrusted with the commission to retrieve from an address in Bristol a handbag containing that tebly glass-half-empty chihuahua who is his rival pet. Mr Jagtar Singh being nowhere to be found, Mr Roger Buggery finds himself put to the necessity of telephoning Screaming Abdab’s Cabs in Grosvenor Road St Pauls. These gentlemen after much gratuitous prevarication grudgingly accede to the demands of Mr Roger Buggery, and dispatch to the baronial hall an elderly and surly thug behind the wheel of the most painfully obvious MOT-failing insurance fraud of a jalopy ever to jeopardise the lives of the innocent. —
The handbag, Mr Jagtar Singh
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