Mr Jagtar Singh

…with Mr Roger Buggery being knocked up at home in Eastville in just such a summary manner by Mr Jagtar Singh, who with curled lip bids the wretch to insert himself into the rear of the swart Lexus, wherein the naugahyde plush receives his presence, giving forth in response a sigh of exasperation. Mr Jagtar Singh on this occasion as on so many others contrives to drive his passenger vey…

An hour or two later, Mr Jagtar Singh presented himself at the door of a certain rather forlorn dwelling in Eastville. Said door being opened by the master of the house in question, Mr Jagtar Singh flourished an embossed envelope, and said.

…frequent momentary absences, that it was the envelope which had the day previously been pressed upon him by Mr Jagtar Singh.

Mr Jagtar Singh did not smile at this, although his moustache twitched and his eyes glittered.

…Inside the swart Lexus nosing along the asphalt, Mr Jagtar Singh remarked to nobody in particular and apropos of nothing in particular that it had turned mucky, such being its wont - this Charon being, as might well have been foretold, ignored by the several arseholes behind him and also by the epsloot anus riding shotgun. These were, more than usual, half a dozen in number, comprising precisely the same…

…late rains luxuriates, even or perhaps especially on this greyest of mid afternoons, in an acid trip vivacity. Mr Jagtar Singh, steering the black Lexus past the greensward on his way down Park Street, looks upon the unseasonal verdure, and at the office workers picknicking, and at the babies with their Slovakian au pairs, and at the thugs disporting with their Jezebels, all under the Argos eyes of the Bristol…

…now smoothly trundled down that self-same thoroughfare, with at the wheel and sporting a fair quantity of brocade Mr Jagtar Singh. Beside and eke behind this redoubtable charioteer reposed, in warm naugahyde plush, Sir Hearty and a pair of fellow and in their own ways comparably prominent citizens who, peering out at the external desuetude, strove with indifferent success not to betray the marks of seigneurial disdain.

The Lexus steered with quiet aplomb by Mr Jagtar Singh nosed along Clarence Road, there being ensconced in the back thereof Sir Hearty Luncheon, this late afternoon tebly enervated and utterly overborne by cant. This hour found him in company with his brother knight Sir Gerald Inhali, who in contrast to his vehicular host manifested a somewhat nauseating good cheer.

…the steel and glass edifice which was the place of business of Handjob Luncheon plc, and presently disgorged Mr Jagtar Singh. This estimable gentleman, pausing briefly to adjust his turban, vey smartly opened the rear passenger door, suffering to emerge into the crisp sodium-lit night air - somewhat in the manner of papillon from chrysalid - Sir Hearty Luncheon. Sir Hearty looked about himself and, blinking once or twice, bestowed…

“Turned out nice for once,” had ventured from behind the wheel Mr Jagtar Singh, to which, behind him, Sir Hearty Luncheon had returned a grunt.

…of his acquaintance with the equine anaesthetics, talcums of Medellin, and amphetamine-based substances which had blighted his youth. Mr Jagtar Singh found himself being summoned, at all hours of the day and night, to don his braid and convey Mr Hawksmoor Perroquet hither and thither, to addresses in Withywood and Knowle West and Hartcliffe and Southmead and diverse other Tophets and Vales of Hinnom, where he was compelled to park…

…upon being insulted with the charivari in Southville, Mr Ian Corby at the suggestion of the spouse of Mr Jagtar Singh - relayed to him through her spouse, viz. Mr Jagtar Singh - had his spouse, viz. Mrs Bianca Corby, conveyed by the gentleman just mentioned to the infirmary for indisposed beasts.