Mr Justice Shallow

…be held at the Magistrates Court, conveniently located just up the road from the Bearpit, with Messrs Justices Shallow and Silent presiding. Mr Justice Shallow had by the quaffing of a great quantity of port rendered his complexion exceedingly florid, and had by the generous application of schoolroom chalk rendered his chin surpassing blue. Mr Justice Shallow having by the identical methods achieved a comparable floridness of complexion and blueness…

In the course of their deliberations over the judging and sentencing of the case before them, Mr Justice Shallow and Mr Justice Silent quite properly bracketed away each in his own private epoché those susceptibilities and peccadilloes of which each privately confessed himself in the possession regarding the charms of Ms. Dunya Taggartova, before settling down to what was, the absorption of considerable amounts of fortifying spirits notwithstanding, a sober…

After a condign interval, Messrs Shallow and Silent and Perroquet saw fit to hear the case. Everyone rose, whereupon, although Mr Justice Silent kept his counsel, Mr Justice Shallow was heard to ask

…peroration, remembered ever after for the almost Periclean quality of its deliv, Alderman Oldphart yielded the floor to Mr Justice Shallow, who greatly obliged all present by calling for a coughing break.

By now, the beaks had been apprised of the tumult which had arisen. Mr Justice Shallow, very blue of chin, unleashed Constable Wifebeating-Cokehead and his fellow cohorts, giving them full licence to sally forth from the sty - where they had passed the night scoffing doughnuts and regaling one another with strip-search videos - that they might punctiliously break as many heads as they liked, sufficing only that the civitas…

…Espied then Superintendent Oldspot, standing by the corner of the Katze und Rad with Alderman Shallow and Alderman Silent, swooped down and alighted just by them.