In the days immediately following the disastrous intervention of Mr Hawksmoor Perroquet at the Bristol Royal Infirmary, there arose a groundswell of opinion, during which low persons railed against his Mayoralty and called for him to be replaced. During this period, rabble-rousers came to the fore, the most prominent among these being Medusa, the gorgon of Club Autonomie in Robertson Road. Her career under the media spotlight ought to have been a short one, given her propensity to petrify the souls of nearly everyone who was so unfortunate as to make her acquaintance. And such must inevitably have been the case, had it not been for a singular event, which forms the subject-matter of the present chapter of this chronicle, and which may be regarded as precipitating the downfall of Mr Hawksmoor Perroquet. —
Club Autonomie, Medusa, Bristol Royal Infirmary, Robertson Road
It so happened that there was an assizes of the Justices, who for the most part sat upon the bench in their blue-chinned pomp at the Magistrates Court hard by the Bearpit. It so happened that upon the bench, between Justices Shallow and Silent sitting thereupon in their blue-chinned pomp, was to be found Mr Hawksmoor Perroquet, withal his pomp went more after a grey-feathered perching fashion. And it so happened that there was arraigned before these judging gentlemen a female, advanced in her years and more than correspondingly wizened. —
The Bearpit, Magistrates Court
Messrs Shallow and Silent gazed very briefly and with little curiosity upon this matron as she filed into the Number Two Courtroom where that day they did their business, viz. sitting in blue-chinned pomp upon the bench set there for that purpose. Mr Hawksmoor Perroquet likewise looked upon that lady, although his glance lingered momentarily, seeming to betoken a glimmer of peculiar signification, withal his attention was called away soon enough to other business, viz. perching in grey-feathered pomp upon the same bench as was being sat upon by his colleagues in the blue-chinned judging way of things. —
Hawksmoor Perroquet
After a condign interval, Messrs Shallow and Silent and Perroquet saw fit to hear the case. Everyone rose, whereupon, although Mr Justice Silent kept his counsel, Mr Justice Shallow was heard to ask —
Mr Justice Silent, Mr Justice Shallow
In answer to this question from the blue-chinned and vocal element of the bench, a certain Constable Wifebeating-Cokehead stood up in the well of the court, and said —
Constable Wifebeating-Cokehead
“Hin point hov vact,” quoth she, “hoy can tell thee horgust gentlevolk a-zitting or a-perching hupon yon bench haccording has to whether thee bissen hov the youman persuasion hor hov the perrokit persuasion: hoy can tell thee, hoy zay, hov hay zertain perrokit that did hattend hay cultural hevent hov them there nilists hand trotskers hand hanarchits. Hand that there perrokit being taken hin the grasp hov the ketamine that hoy did zell ee, did hay most shameful deed hupon that day. That there perrokit did zell his wife that was a bujergur hand their hegg to hay passing hornitholojit.” —
Perrokit
Outside, upon the magistracy steps, lurked congregations of short men with the prison pallor on them. These smoked, and talked, and spat upon the ground. From among their midst emerged, like the sun from behind very dirty clouds, the exquisite form of Dr Mark Wankstain. —
Dr Mark Wankstain
“Like I like hope you won’t like mind if I like fuck like off like,” said Dr Mark Wankstain, “Yeahyeahyeahyeah, like the like poncemaker’s job is like never fuckin’ done like.” —
Dr Mark Wankstain
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