Herod

…a diminutive summer house with, upon its roof, a further quantity of these and like contraptions; and Miss Minerva Ledwitch has also seen fit to install, inadequately screened it needs saying from the third party gaze, a hot tub, and in this Charybis doth the nymph disport herself according as the fancy taketh her.

Eventually, Miss Minerva Ledwitch goes away and shuts herself in the bathroom. It is over now, this first meeting with her son. She leans against the sink, and in the mirror examines her faded features.

…this immutable, adamantine, definitional, iron law of nature admits of no exception in the petty case of Miss Minerva Ledwitch. This afternoon finds this irreproachable matron taking her repose in the domestic Charybdis which, ever egregiously in want of a clean, has bubbled away these numberless years in the back garden of the bungalow in Mangotsfield. Reclining with what grace she can muster amidst the mineral deposits and the algae…

Now is Miss Minerva Ledwitch jerked from her revery by the hawking, in her vicinity, of sputum.

…An altogether more plausible candidate for this office would be her rival in the Cheseham affections, Miss Minerva Ledwitch. Quite what Ms. Ledwitch knew of the marital shenanigans of Lord Handjob must be confessed a matter for speculation. However, it is not unreasonable to suppose that, in her capacity as the partner of His Lordship’s presumptive heir, she took an interest in such matters . Equally, it is by no…

Miss Minerva Ledwitch had in truth not quite completely recovered from the thrill of having all those rough men intruding upon the sanctity of her bower, and was this morning as grateful for the presence of her son as she was exasperated by that of her husband. Withal, it did not escape her notice that there was something a tad altered in darling Marky’s demeanour. What this something might be…

…be partial, and the sundry merry English unhomogenised milks, butters, and cheeses and likewise nuts beloved of Miss Minerva Ledwitch and at which Mr Don Quicksotte may be permitted the odd respective sip or nibble if he has not been too too utterly lacking, in the considered judgement of Miss Minerva Ledwitch, in élan vital: all this by hand of Quicksotte is borne thence unto the larder, and the dishes…

From her boudoir window Miss Minerva Ledwitch watches the departure of Mr Rex Anusol. As the Great Red Pandar dons his camel coat, climbs into his Jaguar, guns the motor, and glides over the gravel and through the wrought iron gates and away, she wrinkles her hooter in disgust. Manifestly no sort of gentleman, nor a rough manly working class type brimful with spunk like dear old Cheseham. Ghastly little…

The two new visitors were Dr Mark Wankstain and Miss Minerva Ledwitch, and it must be said that their arrival produced a curious reaction on the part of Ms. Amelia De'Ath, who looked through the window when gravel was heard being crunched underfoot and, espying the approach of the Mangotsfield Blavatsky, hastily gathered unto herself the coat rack on wheels and the hot water bottle, and vey punctiliously stuffed the…

…Gamina Dročerpyatova had been living in Mangotsfield for nearly a fortnight now. Miss Minerva Ledwitch, as after tiffin she stretched out her limbs in Charybdis, considered whether the young lady’s residence with her family had been an unalloyed success. On the one hand, it could not be pretended that the fair Gamina was possessed of the least scintilla of culture. She had clearly never ventured through the portals of the…

…All of a sudden, the door is wrenched open, and Miss Minerva Ledwitch stands silhouetted in all her awful majesty.

…Cheseham presently saw fit to pay a visit to the Mangotsfield residence of Mr Don Quicksotte and Miss Minerva Ledwitch.