Mr Roger Buggery was some hours later somewhat disconcerted to receive a visit from Ms. Amelia De'Ath. That excellent lady arrived with a coat rack on wheels, a hot water bottle, and a plastic bag whence she vey punctiliously disgorged a generous length of rubber tubing, which bore in virtue of its pinkness a more than passing resemblance to viscera. Setting down her paraphernalia in Mr Roger Buggery’s beige lounge, she gave as her explanation for her unsolicited attentions to that gentleman, that she had not wished to demur from providing colonic irrigation therapy to him on her own premises, but had felt compelled to do so owing to the presence of Mr Rex Anusol. For his part, Mr Roger Buggery certainly did not wish to demur from having colonic irrigation provided to himself on his own premises, but felt compelled to do so owing to the presence upstairs of Mrs Roger Buggery. It was all vey nasty and awkward, and the nastiness and awkwardness was only exacerbated by the arrival of two more unexpected visitors. —
Rubber tubing, Mr Roger Buggery, Amelia De’Ath
The two new visitors were Dr Mark Wankstain and Miss Minerva Ledwitch, and it must be said that their arrival produced a curious reaction on the part of Ms. Amelia De'Ath, who looked through the window when gravel was heard being crunched underfoot and, espying the approach of the Mangotsfield Blavatsky, hastily gathered unto herself the coat rack on wheels and the hot water bottle, and vey punctiliously stuffed the generous length of pink rubber tubing back into her plastic bag, and made some uncharacteristically half-hearted excuses and a hurried departure via the back door. I think that she must have clambered and heaved her paraphernalia over the fence dividing the rear garden from the waste ground lying behind the properties on that side of the street. At any rate, no other explanation furnishes itself as to how she returned within an hour or two to Bath Buildings, which she undoubtedly did. —
Herod, Dr Mark Wankstain, Bath Buildings, Mangotsfield
“Chill,” he said nastily, “like bankers like like like la-di-dah like Lord like Handjob, yeah?” and, with extraordinary nastiness, “peace.” —
Lord Handjob
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