Charybdis (Mangotsfield)

…This afternoon finds this irreproachable matron taking her repose in the domestic Charybdis which, ever egregiously in want of a clean, has bubbled away these numberless years in the back garden of the bungalow in Mangotsfield. Reclining with what grace she can muster amidst the mineral deposits and the algae and the slime, Miss Minerva Ledwitch assembles and with some deftness maintains upon her head’s frontispiece the several elements of…

…mucus into one of the nondescript and sickly shrubs adorning that garden of earthly delights, then slouches towards Charybdis, in which yet coyly reposes that spring’s voluptuous siren. On her part, there is a deal of pouting, and the coquettish fluttering of eyelashes upon plump cheeks. It wants an Enobarbus of the grotesque; nor is there even a Mark Anthony, but only Crass Cheseham who, confessing inwardly his tumescence, somewhat…

…Miss Minerva Ledwitch, as after tiffin she stretched out her limbs in Charybdis, considered whether the young lady’s residence with her family had been an unalloyed success. On the one hand, it could not be pretended that the fair Gamina was possessed of the least scintilla of culture. She had clearly never ventured through the portals of the Tretyakov, never been overwhelmed by the sublimity of the Pathétique, never seen…

…personage is once more to be found enveloped in the jets and the bubbles and the steam of Charybdis, looking up with an expression of almost the utmost complaisance as Ms. Gamina Dročerpyatova, vey lithe, lowers herself into the tub. This procedure being complete, Miss Minerva Ledwitch clears her throat, and vey sonorously broaches a minor matter which has of late preoccupied her.

…time in disrobing, and was vey soon afterwards to be observed lowering himself into the foaming tides of Charybdis, where he came to rest in vey close proximity to Miss Minerva Ledwitch. That lady did not take kindly to the disruption, immediately venting certain expostulations which when taken together signified dissent from the proposed arrangements.